The View from Haru
by xxOnigiri-kunxx
Summary: Have you ever wondered what when on in that crazy mind of our well-known CowBoy? Take a chance to get a glimpse of the view from Hatsuharu Sohma . ((First fanfic so check it out if you want. Thank you so much! :3 I apologize if it seems boring at first, Haru is kind of a quiet, monotone character to begin with XD. ))


**(( DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hatsuharu, Kyo, Yuki, or any of the other Sohmas, and I still don't own Fruits Basket either..Although that would be amazing XDD. All credit goes to Natsuki Takaya (Naka Hatake),FUNimation, all that jazz~**

**This is my very first FanFic, so read and enjoy~! :3 ))******

~The View from Haru~

By Onigiri-kun

I'd always been the type of guy who thought everyone else had it better. I'd had that wish that all the girls would be crazy over me, who _hasn't_ at some point? But I always feel like I'm being left behind at something, like I need to yell, "Hey! Wait up!" I feel different. "Could you get in the damn water already? I wanna race!" I heard someone say. "Yes, stupid cat, and I will beat you." I saw Yuki smirk. Ah, they were at it again, as usual. I could bet money on Yuki winning, asthma and all. 

"Hey Haru! Come down the slides with me, _please_!" I turn to see the little rabbit Momiji looking up at me while asking. "Well, why not." I say, staring off into space. "Yay!" So, here I am, making my way over to the slides with the talkative bunny, although I do not understand a word he is saying. I am too lost in thought at the moment. What if when you went down the slide, when you came out in the water, you came to find you were transported in the past? As I swim to the ladder and make my way up to the slide, a baby boy is in front of me, his appearance screams "I am three," and he's too afraid to go down the slide. Figures. I bend down next to him. "Hey, she's down at the bottom waiting for you." I say, speaking about the Sister-Mother-Aunt-Whoever that is waiting at the end in the water. 

"No." he says simply. "Please, sit up here." I say, and then I give him the slightest little push and he slowly goes down. Yes! "Thanks," he tries to put out. I just smile. I get the smallest thought of being a father, think about that night when I was 12 or 13, and then tuck it away in the back of my mind. Let's live right now, Haru. In the meantime I wake up and realize Momiji is patiently waiting in the other slide. Well, ehem, _im_patiently. 

"Haru! On the count of three! One, two, three…" Even though going down them only took a matter of seconds, it felt like it took hours for me because all I could do was think…Have you ever had that feeling like you think when you go down the slide, you're going to come out the other end and be secretly back to the past, when your parents were kids? Probably not, but I did. And when I ended up in the water,Momiji laughing and everything, I was under the water. When I came up I expected…difference. But it was the same old world, little kids playing Marco Polo, women tanning, guys talking, same. I already knew this would happen, but somewhere inside me, smiling, I wanted it to be _different_. 

"Oh, hell no! I get a retry!" I saw Kyo griping to the smirking Yuki. "Oh, yes, another chance to deflate your pride!" the rat said in his mock-excited voice, but it's very calm. That makes me laugh. Here we are at the pool, trying to get along, have fun, and lo and behold, the rat and cat are competing. Not surprising at all. As I was swimming under the water, I began to think again. What if while you were underwater, time stopped? All the swimming kids, all the laughter, everything stopped. And as you swam past all the motionless people, it would be as if you were finally achieving all the goals you ever had. Then when you resurfaced, it would be all in working time? 

"Haha, that was fun! Wasn't it, Haru?" I looked over his way. " Yeah, Momiji. That was cool I guess," and I forgot to mention to him to quit saying my name so often! I happened to glance over and see Kyo swimming slightly in front of Yuki in their race. He might actually win! But then…oh, wow, Kyo sucked in water and came in after Yuki. "Hey! Now tell me how the hell's that fair?! I sucked in water!" "I can't help how you breathe." "You damn rat!" "Stupid cat." I'm sure you suspected Yuki was going to win, as always. **(( Haven't we all sucked in water during a race at least once?! OTL ))**

I went and propped my arms against the side of the pool at the 12th foot deep end. I just stayed there, alone for a few minutes until eventually I heard Yuki's voice behind me. "H-Haru. What's wrong?" I saw a little girl jump on her dad's back at the shallow end. He was spinning her around. They were laughing. I looked over at the slides. A little boy was going down the slide, and he yelled, "Hey Auntie, catch me!" I shut my eyes. It was all too painful to think about. No, I wouldn't remember. I wouldn't, I couldn't. I didn't want to, but it came to haunt me the same time every year, or sometimes just as a passing thought. 

"What is it _now?" _His voice sounded so sympathetic. "Ah, it's really nothing. Just thinking about...t-the _day_." My voice decided to stop me on the word day. Yuki sighed. He knew I wasn't really thinking about today. I was thinking about _those days._ I was thinking about that _girl._ That _aunt. _That dad...Those _things, _those _people_... I would never have. "Haru, come here." He lifted himself onto the edge, and offered his hand for me to use. I shook my head and lifted myself up as well. He wanted to talk, but alone-time and silence were my friends, they were calling me. 

Have you ever wanted to hug an un-dead person, or befriend a ghost, or a demon? Yeah, I bet not, and I bet you think I'm crazy now but... I'm just not _scared_ of them. Why are people scared of things associated with _death,_ and not living things, like a stranger who could make you _experience death? _Those dead people were scared of death, just like you, _before._ I really wish I could be visited by a ghost, I really do, and for some reasons I guess I just can't explain. 

"Hey, I-I'm sorry. I just don't know what we should do. I know, it's painful, and it's been _five years,_ but I've got you, we all do. Do you want to talk with me? Hatori's going to be over later, maybe you could..." He just quieted down and looked at me. "No. It was none of your fault. I'm fine, I don't really feel like talking about that, I'm just _tired._ And I really don't feel like talking to _him _right now." In all truth, Hatori hadn't been much of an uncle to me at all, and he sure hadn't been any of a help at the time. By tired I really meant I felt _Terrible, Insecure, Ripped apart, _and _Emotionally Disturbed._

Sometimes I would feel like I wanted to cry. Not because I was hurt, not because I was scared, and not because of _hormones._ But just because I didn't understand why. Why we do as we do, say what we say. But I couldn't ask anyone, or explain how I felt, that would just be like casting pearls before swine, giving a coin to a cat. _Useless_. Then, my Black Side had been incredibly hard to contain, but now, I have it under my control. Kind of. It only lets loose when I try to talk to people too much, for too long. Because then I get mad over the simplest of things. But when I'm quiet, stay mostly to myself, I usually stay White. 

"Well, if you just want someone to..._ hang out _with, I'll be over here." Yuki said, pointing over to the shallow end where I could see Kyo messing with Momiji, and, the classic line was heard: "Wehh! Kyo's picking on me!" He smiled at me before making his way over towards the others. "Hey...Yuki," He turned around. "Y-yes?" "Uhm...thanks for...talking with me. It helped." "Oh, yes, you're welcome. You really don't have to thank me though, I was just feeling a little alone myself...you don't always want to talk to someone, but sometimes it just happens that way." He let out a little bit of a laugh. That made _me_ smile. 

No, it hadn't really changed anything, but just spending a little bit of time with him, his gentle words, made me feel a little happier. This certainly hadn't been the first time he'd helped me somehow. Now I'm sure you understand why he was my first love. No, I don't love him in the same way anymore, I have Rin...but sometimes when someone is kind to you, you can't help but feel you want that feeling of kindness, love,..._forever._

END OF CHAPTER 1

**(( So, how did you like that? This is my very first FanFic so please don't judge too harshly, but let me know if you like my writing, things I can improve on, things you may not understand or like, and don't forget to Rate, Review, Fav, and Follow~! Thank you for taking your time to read this, because I know Haru can be monotone/"boring" but hopefully some of you can relate somehow, and more chapters will be coming soon if I get enough Rates & reviews. By the way, I plan on making a Yuki FanFic soon, and a character of my own will be in the one after that. I actually want a hyped-up story soon XDD Bye-Bye! ^~^ ))**


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